Turning 40 and New Beginnings

Hi Friends, June is my birthday month and I turned 40.  I'm not a big "celebrate me it's my birthday" person.  But 40 feels like a big deal to me.  A new chapter that has been building slowly  for several years. 

You see, I've always "DID THE THING" I was supposed to do.  I had the job.  I put in the time.  I got promotions.  I got engaged (to the wrong guy),  I bought the house, the nice car, etc.   At some point,  I realized I was miserable.  My job was dragging me down to the point where I had no joy and no energy to find it.  I was giving up parts of stay on this path just because it felt safe.   The sparkly bits of myself that made me ME were getting buried.  I was terrified that if I kept trudging along on this soulless path,  I wouldn't know how to find those bits again. 

This awareness evolved for several years spurred by my art practice and the new connections I was making. And so, one year ago, I screwed up all my courage and pulled the plug.  I quit the job and decided to build the life I wanted on my terms.   


In the past year, I've taken time off to explore myself, and figure out what I really want and need.  I have gotten clarity.  40 feels like the beginning of calling back those sparkly bits that I thought I might have lost for good.  I no longer feel like I have to hide my quirky spirit to fit in or need get approval for every goddamn thing.   I realize the only way to be HAPPY and to accomplish my dreams is to be true to myself. 

It felt really fitting that I spent my birthday in my art studio.   I was going to install six pieces of art the next day at a brand new co-working space in downtown Orlando.   So I worked 'til midnight prepping artwork - painting edges, sealing, installing wire on the backs of all the paintings.  Mario, my sweet, supportive, wonderful fiance, helped me all along the way.  I went to bed that night with a huge smile on my face. 

The next day, I woke up early and drove downtown with my friend, Amy,  to install the art.  I can't describe how happy I felt to be doing something that I've always wanted to do..ACTUALLY DOING IT.  I know it's not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but it's a huge deal to ME because it's a step.  I've been busting my ass to put in studio time and to market myself online.  This was an opportunity that came to me because of the work I've been doing.  I can't describe it, but I can honestly say it was the best birthday I've ever had - hands down. 

The first step toward getting somewhere, is to decide you are not going to stay where you are.
— John Pierpont “J.P.” Morgan
Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.
— —Meister Eckhart
Nina Ramos