If It's Not Working, Move On

Hi friends, I know it's  been awhile. For the past year, I haven’t been present in sharing my life on social, email and all the places. Sometimes you just need to take a break to figure things out…by yourself. I guess that means I’ll never be an influencer, lol!

Anyway, I've thought of writing many times over the past several months, but to be honest, I didn't know what to say. Lots of things have changed in my life that have impacted my art practice. I've been so busy trying to fit all the pieces together that I let a few things slide while I was figuring it out.

As a former corporate executive, it’s been ingrained in me to always present a smooth exterior and give the perception that everything is under control. But I’m not a corporate machine, I’m one person. I don’t always have things in control because I’m a hot mess mostly…I mean, aren’t we all? One of the reasons I left that world was because it was exhausting pretending to be someone else, suppressing authenticity to maintain an image, etc.

I’m not going to do that with my art business, SO, here goes..

I've been avoiding sharing because I felt like I failed.  You guys know that when I left my job, my goal was to create a full time art business. I did marketing consulting work on the side for several years, but I eventually took the leap and relied solely on my art business for awhile. I think many of you admired that and aspired to do something similar; because of that, it’s super important to share how it’s going for me. By now we’ve learned that watching people online creates an illusion of perfection, when the reality is something quite different.

I won't bore you with the details, but being a full-time artist at this stage of my journey wasn't what I was expecting. (When I say ‘full-time artist” I mean that I was relying on my art business to 100% support me financially.) While I loved many things about it, I felt extremely isolated and wasn’t happy. I knew something had to change.

SO, over a year ago, I made the decision to go back to marketing consulting. It was really REALLY hard to make that choice - not because it was the wrong decision, but because I felt like I was giving up on my goal of being a full-time artist.

Interestingly enough, it was my art practice that helped me come to terms with recalibrating my life.  When I start a painting,  I usually have a vision in my head.  I've learned that when that vision isn't working out on my canvas, I have to let go and try something new.  Sometimes it's the whole painting and sometimes it's just small section of the painting.   This was hard at first.  When I started out, I would FORCE the painting and end up with crappy work.  Now, when my gut tells me it's not going to happen, I quickly paint over it and try something new. 

My gut was saying it was time to try something new.   A year later, I can say definitively that it was the right choice for me.  I'm happier and I am enjoying my art practice more.  It took me awhile to figure my schedule out but I have finally got the hang of it.  When I went back to work, I made sure to build a schedule that would allow me to have time for my daily studio practice.

Having said all that, nothing has changed in what you can expect from me. I’ll still be painting every single week and sharing those paintings and the inspiration with you.

I love painting with all my heart. Who knows what the future will bring? I’m sure I will change things up again at some point. For now, I’m happy where I’m at and I love that the only pressure on my creativity is to keep growing and evolving.